The sky is falling?

So, recently (the past week or so) my father texted me a chicken little message that the apocalypse is coming. The reason he texted is because I limit my exposure to him, and if he calls it goes to voicemail. Text is fine, but the message has to be positive. When I get a message that the world is coming to an end, my empathic side wonders if he is okay. However, this is really not what I need to do. There is no need to engage as it is not healthy. In fact, the opposite is needed. I need to state what I want. Why? Because my happiness is more important than being part of his dysfunction. So, I state, “Stop sending me apocalyptic messages. I hope you are doing well.” Nothing more, and time to move on. This can also cause guilt because our little voice says, “Oh, he needs help, talk with him, make sure he is okay. Maybe that wasn’t very kind, and I should be nicer”. But in doing so, I would give up my sanity and happiness. This is manipulative bait, and we need to watch out for it. It can be very difficult, because growing up with him I was taught that he is the most important person and I need his approval for everything – always conditional. So, part of my growth is to re-teach myself that I don’t need his approval to be happy. I also need to stick with my decision. If I get more of the same type of texts, then I need to permanently end the messages. If he sends nonsense a second time, then he is told he loses texting privileges to me – hello spam folder! Why do I keep contact? I don’t know exactly why. Perhaps it is because I want my children to know who he is and let them make their own decisions (grandparent relationships are different than parent ones). It could also be compassion – where I hope the person no longer has this struggle. But most likely it is because I know he can’t hurt me (I am safe), and I don’t need his approval. ONLY I CAN APPROVE OF MYSELF. I often use affirmations to let myself know I am safe, happy, and healthy. I’ll post a future entry on Affirmations. Have a pleasant day!